Trying to maintain my pace without breaking the engine
13.3.07
Bread crumbs
Over the past several months, I have found myself, and lost more than enough. Socializing, sightseeing, and work has made unsuccessful attempts at swerving my focus away from the initial motivation for why I came. The distractions here deserve some credit, though.
Korea is an amazing place in the sense that we can fall back into the waves of millions of other people, native or not. When one becomes just another pair of feet in the constant motion of human traffic, we hope that they may not forget what it means to be more than just another face.
Shortly after my last post, right around when my reason for coming out here guised itself for my acceptance of self-enlightment, I decided to run as far as I could from time. No matter how far or fast I tried to go, the past five years of my life shows evident to the shaping of everything that I am now.
Now I am deciding on when my return shall be.
As much as I tried to avoid this blog becoming a venue for anything of personal value, it seems as if I have succumbed to the heartstrings.
The hottest month of the season isn't over yet. Summer won't be leaving until after my quarter century mark. The scenery changed so quickly. Spring was so fleeting.
Into the Transmogrifier, out into a world of our own. May we never forget where we went when we were tigers, dinosaurs, space alien fighters, and all the while invisible to the rest of the world.
Sometimes we meet people that, at first glance, seem geniunely kind-hearted and sympathetic. While these individualistic facets hold true, we later discover a soul that is precarious by nature.
Strength, something that is acquired and developed only with the power of one's own fortitude and perseverance, can be confirmed through the close circle of those who understand the core.
Admist a chaos of misplaced aesthetic standards, loosely followed and misinterpreted strict social codes of conduct, and an impetuously ticking clock to set the pace, the truth prevails.
We must accept the difficult encounters as moments that will be part of the foundation that help us realize exactly how resilient we indubitably are.
Although most of us find this to be the most difficult to remember...
As I immersed myself into the pitter patter of rain beating against my umbrella, I kicked off my shoes and listened to a few Miles Davis and Chris Botti tunes ingrained in my memory. Only is it possible to walk barefoot in the rain without losing the first few layers of skin during monsoon season. Taxis are overrated.
Just finished having a small exchange of words with our building's cleaning lady. On Tuesday, it was with my nail stylist. Every other day, it is with all of my students (whether they want to or not, by the will of their parents).
In the year of 1980, there was a massacre at one of the 4 major key universities. The actual death toll is unknown, but the range is said to be between one and two thousand. This was in response to a martial law, plus 300,000 protestors.
Calling myself a citizen of this country would be absolutely amiss, but I do know one thing for sure. No matter where you are, everyone is forced to make a choice. a) stay where you are, or b) go somewhere else
What would you do for the chance to have something more?
Inadvertency, although unknowingly well-prepared, has brought me this far.
From the window of my apartment, I could hear the 'ooh'ing and 'ahh'ing across town. Instead of joining the massive red mob in 광화문, I spent my first World Cup experience downstairs at the convenience store in my building.
The owner and I ate ice cream and watched the match together. For every goal made, we gave each other high-ten's like we were two little kids.
Although I was not in the company of hundreds and hundreds of drunken Korean people adorned in red apparel for its first victory, I must admit that I felt a sense of comradery and unity walking along the empty streets of 일산. And to top it off with a big red strawberry, I heard bikers ringing their bells in the oh-so-familiar chant.... "대한민국."
"We have a duty to perform; to cultivate the human soul, to defend mystery against miracle, to adore the incomprehensible and reject the absurd..." -Hugo